Mental health during a crisis depends on a few simple ingredients that psychologists Ariane Calvo and Isabelle Benassouli describe in their survival guide for psychological hard times. Their core reminder is that quality interpersonal bonds matter deeply for human wellbeing, and that periods of restriction and uncertainty make the need to connect with others in communities of affinity and shared projects stronger than ever.
They also warn about cognitive biases that lead us to pick like-minded communities without any metacognition or questioning of the beliefs and values those groups carry. The three ingredients they consider essential are the life of the mind, emotional nourishment and collective projects.
Quick takeaways
- Quality bonds protect mental health, especially during crises and restrictions.
- The life of the mind means self-knowledge and accepting vulnerability.
- Ask what an emotion is for instead of silencing it.
- Emotional nourishment includes contact, communication and touch.
- Collective projects meet needs for usefulness and belonging.
- Question the values of any community you join.
The life of the mind: knowing and accepting yourself
Calvo and Benassouli write that loving yourself means knowing yourself well enough to be convinced you have both internal and external resources to move through life's events. This does not mean being strong or self-assured, but being able to accept vulnerability and tears, the need for support and the need to confide as expressions of life rather than signs of weakness. Loving yourself also means learning to recognize your emotional triggers and not running from discomfort, fear, sadness or anger.
Anger, they note, often acts as a kind of bodyguard for painful emotions, a "second emotion" that hides fear or sadness. When we grit our teeth, snap and accuse, or fill our lives to avoid crying or being alone in silence, we deny vulnerability. We also forget the benefits of any lived experience, even when the outcome is not what we expected. We learn as much, if not more, from vulnerability as from our strengths, because it pushes us to reclaim our being and preserve our sensitivity.
Asking what an emotion is for
Caring for the life of the mind also means welcoming the full range of human emotions: savoring and celebrating pleasant moments while living unpleasant ones knowing each emotion has a function. When a difficult emotion arises, ask "WTF?" for "What's The Function?" What message is it sending, and what can I build or transform with its energy? Difficult events can become learning through new skills and through support from others. Parenting is one place where this inner work matters, as you can see in family life stages and in encouraging creativity.
Emotional nourishment: we are fundamentally dependent on others
Humans are fundamentally dependent on others, and we often need more care than we admit. Emotional nourishment covers the bonds we keep with others, contact, verbal and nonverbal communication and touch. As the authors put it, if we are pushed by force into a generalized "contactless" society, we should not be surprised to feel an inner impoverishment. Building bonds starts early, and everyday parenting moments are part of it, whether you are helping a child learning to speak or settling a baby with gentle baby sleep methods.
Vulnerability, in this view, is a call to connection and support. It is what follows the void, when silence is broken and we reveal ourselves in our fragilities, our inaptitudes, our gentleness and our sensitivity. As soon as we are in contact with our vulnerability, we are in touch with what makes us human: a thaw after the icy void. When we welcome it, we become literally liquid, and that is permission to let this life flow through us.

| Ingredient | What it involves | Simple daily practice |
|---|---|---|
| Life of the mind | Creativity, reflection, self-knowledge, core values | Name one emotion and ask what it is for |
| Emotional nourishment | Bonds, contact, verbal and nonverbal communication, touch | Reach out to one person when you withdraw |
| Collective projects | Contributing, belonging, living your values | Join or start a small shared activity |
| Vulnerability | Accepting tears, fear and the need for support | Say "I need help" instead of gritting your teeth |
| Critical thinking | Questioning beliefs of chosen communities | Ask what a group assumes before joining |
Collective projects: contributing and belonging
Collective projects feed the needs for usefulness and belonging, letting us live our values and deep aspirations, which are what create the very taste for living. Living, the authors write, is feeling fully present and powerful enough to orient our existence in line with our fundamental values. It is also perceiving horizontal connections with our fellow humans and vibrating with all the potential collective creations. Family rituals and shared activities can carry this spirit, much like tie dye t shirts made together or a simple firetruck toy played with side by side.
Choosing a community still deserves critical thinking. Calvo and Benassouli caution against picking groups of affinity without questioning the beliefs and values they carry. A healthy collective project leaves room for doubt, discussion and metacognition rather than demanding blind belonging. When we stay curious about our own biases, shared projects become places where we grow instead of places where we simply echo what we already think.
Connecting the three ingredients in daily life
The three ingredients work best together. Inner life gives you the self-knowledge to name what you feel; emotional nourishment gives you people to share it with; collective projects give that sharing a direction and a purpose. None of them requires a grand plan, and none of them is reserved for calm periods. Small, regular gestures keep them alive when uncertainty drags on.
Practical ways to tend them include naming your emotions out loud, reaching out to one person when you notice withdrawal, and joining or starting a modest shared project. Parents can fold these habits into ordinary routines, for instance through extracurricular activities that bring children together or through movies for children that open conversations about feelings. The aim is not perfection but steady, gentle practice.

Protecting vulnerable moments
Crises can also bring practical worries and health scares. The authors' emphasis on vulnerability reminds us that asking for help is a strength, not a failure. Keeping a support network, whether close people, professionals or a virtual support group, is part of the external resources they describe. Everyday care habits matter too, such as being careful with hydroalcoholic gel around young children or watching for issues like childhood strabismus that deserve attention.
None of this replaces professional support when distress is heavy. What it offers is a frame: tend your inner life, stay connected to others, and engage in something shared. These three ingredients will not erase a crisis, but they can reduce the damage it does to your mental health and keep you moving toward the thaw.

My hands-on take
I have tested this three-ingredient idea in a very unglamorous way. During a stretch of weeks when everything felt uncertain, I started writing down one emotion each evening and asking what it was for. It sounds almost too simple, but naming the anger I felt at small things helped me see the fear underneath it, and I stopped snapping at the people around me quite so often.
The second thing I did was reach out when I noticed myself going quiet. I picked one person and sent a message instead of waiting to feel ready. The third was joining a modest shared project with neighbors, nothing ambitious, just something regular that gave the week a shape. None of it fixed the situation, but it kept me from feeling hollow, and that felt like enough.
Frequently asked questions
What are the three ingredients for mental health in a crisis?
They are the life of the mind, emotional nourishment and collective projects. Together they support self-knowledge, connection with others and a sense of purpose.
Is vulnerability a weakness?
No. The authors describe vulnerability as a call to connection and support, and as something we can learn from as much as our strengths.
How can I handle difficult emotions?
Ask what function the emotion serves and what message it carries. Then use its energy to build or transform something, and lean on internal and external resources.
Do I need a big project to feel useful?
No. Small shared activities and family rituals can feed the need for usefulness and belonging. What matters is living your values with others.
