Should I take the child to a funeral? 2026

There is quite a consensus that six or seven years old is the most appropriate age to consider taking a child to a funeral. Before that age their understanding of death is still very imperfect and they may also become tired, impatient or speak loudly.

The child must always be accompanied

If you decide to take a child to a funeral, you must explain to him what it is and what he will see there: sad people, perhaps some crying. Do not think that you cannot assimilate these things, on the contrary, they are part of your learning about emotions and life. Provided, of course, that we are constantly at your side to answer your questions, give you explanations and provide you with the security and support you need.

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Let's respect your decision

You don't have to force him to go. But it is not about us making the decision for him not to go. Logically we are not going to take him to the funeral of the father of a co-worker of ours, but when it is someone closer - an uncle, a grandfather - we must give him the opportunity to attend. Let us remember that ceremonies help assimilate losses: that is their function. Even if there is an initial refusal from the child, we can give him the opportunity to reconsider.

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Of course, in case we decide to take our son to a funeral, he must always be accompanied. Before we said that he needs us by his side, he needs our proximity and warmth, which will calm him down and help him process the experience.

Permission to feel

If you need to cry, don't deprive yourself because the child is in front of you. Normal emotions should not be denied.

If he wants to touch or kiss the deceased, usually imitating us, let him do it. Let us warn you, however, that the body will be cold.

And if it is going to be incinerated, we can explain that it will be subjected to a high temperature to turn it into ashes. Some advise against using the word "burn" (there is a reason why it has been decided to use words like "cremate" or "incinerate" for these occasions).

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And if the child wants to cry, let's not be alarmed or think that we should avoid it. Let's make him feel that it is legal to express emotions, let's comfort him and show him that he has our warmth and our support.

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