Problems with your children's caregiver? 2026

Author: Beatriz González

That doesn't mean it's perfect or that parents have to endure uncomfortable circumstances. Still, many conflicts can be resolved easily. We tell you how.

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1. My youngest daughter loves the babysitter and my oldest daughter can't stand her.

There may be two reasons for this behavior:

Solution: In any case, one possibility to solve the situation is for the babysitter to look for common ground with the eldest and try to gain her attention with what interests the girl. This way you will establish different practices with each sister.

2. We moved, and the nanny, who got along great with my kids, can't take care of them anymore.

I have found another one that I like, but she doesn't speak our language. The children reject her and keep asking about the previous one.

Rejection of a strange person is normal in children. What would not be normal is for this rejection to continue once the adaptation period has passed. That is, any change can create a situation of tension in the little ones. But it is also true that they tend to adapt more quickly and with less effort to new things than we do.

Solution: With a good disposition on the part of the nanny and giving the children some time, it is very possible that in a few weeks they will have grown to love her. Asking him to try to learn our language will help a lot. Furthermore, it can be positive that the person who cares for the children has a different origin, if we take advantage of the opportunity for the family to learn aspects of their culture.

3. The babysitter spoils my children and then when I deny them something, they seem to hate me

Fluid communication between the adults who take care of the little ones is one of the bases for everything to go smoothly. In any case, the fact that we are more rigid than the caregiver does not have to make them hate us. But it would be positive for children not to have two contradictory references as adult models.

Solution: Part of this communication with the caregiver will consist of explaining what values ​​we want to instill in our children. If all the adults with whom children have most contact transmit the same values ​​to them, they will not suffer contradictions or get used to what their parents do not want.

4. I feel like the babysitter is taking advantage of me.

Since the boy gets along very well with her, he is always asking me for more and does less chores.

The fact that we have found a caregiver that we like and applies our educational criteria does not mean that we have to bow to her conditions. That is, if the nanny does not agree with the tasks that we consider she should perform and that we believe are necessary, she can be replaced, no matter how good her relationship with the children is.

Solution: It is important to establish limits from the beginning, making it clear what your obligations and rights are. From there, it is essential not to modify the rules, assigned tasks or schedules from time to time, unless it is really necessary.

5. My children have told me that the babysitter sometimes meets her boyfriend in the park

That the caregiver's boyfriend is present when she takes the children to do any activity outside the home does not have to negatively affect the children's development, as long as the couple behaves normally in front of them.

Solution: If parents do not welcome the situation, it is a personal choice to set limits. Especially if they consider that these meetings can distract her and not be as focused on her work as she should be. This same reason can be given when you explain why they do not consider it convenient for you to meet your partner during work hours.

6. I have hired an Early Childhood Education student to take care of my children

Will they feel strange because their caregiver is a man?

Children have much fewer prejudices than adults. If they have experienced the situation normally from the beginning, there is no reason for them to feel "strange" in the future.

No solution needed: Having another male role at home will be just as positive as if they had another female role. If, in addition, the father is less present in your life (because of his work, because you are separated or for whatever reason), it can even be beneficial.

7. The babysitter imposes too much discipline on my daughter

In these situations communication is essential.

Solution: A consensus must be reached with the babysitter so that the little ones do not receive opposing orders from their parents and caregiver. Children benefit from having a certain order in their activities and learning to assume a principle of higher authority, but within a logic. It is necessary that they live within a framework of authority, but always the one that the parents choose and within limits.

8. I am jealous of the babysitter

My daughter spends so much time with her and is so fond of her that I think she sees my figure in her, that of a mother.

Although we parents have the support of another adult to raise our children and the time we enjoy with them is less, children are very clear about who their parents are. And they are not going to stop loving us because they see us less than another person.

No solution needed: Psychologists insist that the quality of the time we spend with our children is much more important than the quantity. Therefore, if the hours we spend with them are truly shared (we enjoy them one hundred percent, we play, we listen to them, we are interested in them), our bond will become increasingly solid and happy. That children love their caregiver is the best sign that she is taking good care of them, is influencing them positively and they are happy. Therefore, there is nothing to worry about.

Advisor: José González, psychologist at AB Psicoluciones.