Sometimes we let kids get away with it by not fighting; On other occasions we do it because we are in a hurry or because we don't want other parents to see us as ogres; and there are also situations in which parents, grandparents, teachers and other educators of the child have contradictory norms. Each of these three scenarios leads to the same reaction on the part of the children: that they behave very differently at home than they do outside. The strategy with which to put an end to these bad behaviors involves:
When he just misbehaves at school
The most important thing is to communicate actively and continuously with your teachers, requesting tutoring, to reach a consensus and join forces in the same direction, making our educational models coincide. But we will also have to talk to our child and explain to him what behavior we expect from him both inside and outside the home. Reinforcing any progress, no matter how small (a day without the teacher calling his attention, for example) is always a good idea. We can even reward and dramatize approaches to our goal. And on the contrary: in the event of inappropriate behavior we can withdraw his prizes by time - if we let him watch TV for 20 minutes, we can shorten his “reward” by allowing him to watch only 10 minutes.
When we are the parents who behave differently with him inside and outside the home
We will have to arm ourselves with patience and order our priorities. If it is more important to be consistent than to arrive on time for your cousin's birthday, you will have to dedicate the time necessary to maintain the rules outside the home as well. The same goes for what they will say: forgetting about it and setting the same limits inside and outside the home is never a bad idea.
If grandparents, uncles, caregivers and parents have different criteria
The solution lies in the cause of the problem: in this case there is no other option than to make it clear to all of our child's educators which rules are essential for him to follow, so that they are not contradictory to each other.
Advisor:Luis Lebrusán, psychologist specialized in Children at the Learn More Applied Psychology Center.
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