When a baby is born, everyone around (grandparents, aunts, cousins...) wants to enjoy the little one. But sometimes this participation is so enthusiastic that it overwhelms the new parents and creates real problems.
Everyone insists on giving their opinion on what is best for the baby. And although advice is normally well-intentioned and welcome when one does not know what to do, this barrage of opinions often confuses and sometimes annoys rather than helps, especially when no one has asked for it.
Help, tactfully, please
The truth is that no one doubts the good faith of these people, especially if they are family members. The birth of a grandson or nephew is always an expected and desired event, and everyone wants to help and enjoy the little one.
Family participation is necessary at times, such as when the mother is weak and sensitive after childbirth.
The problem appears when the limits of reasonable help or respect for the couple are exceeded. If everyone is willing to help, it is important to talk beforehand and distribute the tasks.
You have to be smart and anticipate events. If we already know which foot our mother-in-law or mother-in-law limps on, we will have to explain to her before the baby is born, even repeat to her when she is with us if necessary, that all her advice is very valuable and that we are going to take it into account. But they must understand that many of the fashions and parenting habits of thirty or forty years ago are no longer in style today, and that certain baby care products such as talcum powder, mercromin or povidone-iodine are now discouraged. We will have to explain to them with as much affection as possible and without anger, that we are convinced that we will know how to raise our son as well as they did and that we will not hesitate to ask for help and advice when we have any questions.
Stop them before they get out of the pot
- Set limits from the beginning, even before, and don't allow certain family interferences to become habits that are difficult to avoid later.
- It is essential that the father be involved in raising the baby from the hospital. You will be able to cope better with complicated situations if you share experience.
- The couple must agree and make joint decisions about their child and then each one of them must be in charge of transferring him to his own family to avoid suspicions.
- You are the one who best knows your baby and your intuition, putting him to sleep or feeding him, unless you agree. It is more efficient for them to take care of household chores.
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