The pacifier: the 5 most common questions resolved! 2026

Is it necessary to offer the baby a pacifier? At what age should we remove it? Decisions regarding pacifiers are one of the topics that generate the most doubts in early childhood in consultations and nursery schools. We spoke with Lalu Gómez, psychologist and psychotherapist, who gives us some keys so that each family can decide:

What is the pacifier for?

1.The pacifier has a fundamental regulatory function, that is, it allows the baby to return to calm and tranquility in the face of a situation that causes discomfort or stress. Sucking constitutes a reflex act, which is put into operation naturally. When the baby sucks (whether it's the pacifier, mom's breast or the nipple of the bottle), he obtains sensations of calm, pleasure, tranquility and well-being.2. Unlike sucking through feeding (breast or bottle), the pacifier is an element that is available to the baby at any time, that is, it will be one of the first resources that the baby can implement on its own, helping it to create its first approaches to problem solving and behavioral planning. At first he will only be able to calm himself through adult intervention, and little by little he will incorporate new ways to calm himself. Hand control will allow him to grab the pacifier and try to put it in his mouth, although he may lose it after a while or drop it if he is agitated and moves his hands over his face. It is a seemingly simple action with great implications on a mental level, since it allows establishing a cause-effect relationship and stimulates recognition and manipulation through touch and proprioception (the simple fact of locating where the mouth is and directing the hand towards it is a great evolutionary milestone).

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3. The baby oscillates between moments of discomfort in which he complains, protests or cries to moments of calm and tranquility when his need is satisfied. The important thing when it comes to the pacifier is that we are able to maintain a balance. It doesn't make sense for us to put it on him all the time even at the slightest protest (babbling or making sounds of discomfort is not the same as crying inconsolably). If we turn the pacifier to a minimum, we can interfere with their first babbling and communication attempts. Sometimes it is better to establish a dialogue with them and show them that we are interested in understanding what they are trying to express, since beyond the pacifier, the breast or any other element, what favors a secure attachment and a positive bond, is the relationship of closeness, intimacy and exclusivity that the baby establishes with its caregivers. And it is important that we allow the expression of displeasure and discomfort, since this will build their ability to express themselves, choose, decide and configure all that we call emotional intelligence (adapt to the environment and learn from the experience and expression of all emotions). The adult who raises and accompanies the child observes and is prepared to intervene in response to his or her demands. This circle is repeated through all routines (baby demands-adult responds) and sets the stage for establishing a secure attachment.

What happens if we don't give him a pacifier?

The mouth is the main way babies discover and explore the world. At first through the breast, pacifier or bottle, little by little he will be able to pick up objects on his own and put them in his mouth, which is why psychologists talk about the oral stage. Through touch and mouth, the baby discovers all the options available in his environment, doing tests and establishing his preferences. It is important that we let babies suck on their toys and the elements that are within their reach (assuming that they are in a reviewed environment, with safe materials), and thus they will evolve towards more elaborate forms of exploration.

There are children who maintain the tendency to explore preferably through their mouth beyond the age of two or three (they suck the collar of their shirt or suck their thumb), and in those cases we have to ask ourselves if the child had the opportunity and “permission” to do so when it was time (babies and children aged 1 and 2 must have permission to put toys in their mouths, they are safe materials and prepared for it). That is why the decision to use the pacifier or not has to be linked to the baby's natural evolutionary needs, rather than to the idea or expectation that adults have (for example, "it was so difficult for me to take the pacifier away from the oldest one that I won't offer it to the next one"). If you don't give him the pacifier, but he sucks his thumb, the child is looking for a way to satisfy his need. Each child is unique and will show us how to tune in with him.

When is it time to remove it?

Most children do not use a pacifier beyond the age of two or three, in fact the transition to the second cycle of infants (at three years old) is usually a good time. Sometimes it is a gradual withdrawal, as we see that the child demands it less and is able to calm down in other ways and only requests it to fall asleep or in moments of great tiredness or disturbance. Some ideas that we can implement to encourage the removal of the pacifier when the time comes:

1. Agree on the time to remove the pacifier with the child: we can make a kind of negotiation with him. As they gain greater autonomy in all aspects, all the children feel happy to do grown-up things. Little by little we will talk to them and put words to everything they have been learning and acquiring and we will give shape to the idea. There are many families who organize a farewell and celebrate it together through a story that gives shape to that “celebration”. It could be that the wise men take it, there are those who put it in a mailbox so that it reaches another baby who needs it... the stories and tales help them a lot to make sense of the dilemmas they go through, and calm down when they miss what has disappeared.

When is the use of a pacifier especially recommended?

The use of a pacifier is very helpful for children who are especially irritable or have a very low arousal threshold. Babies show a series of reactions and a unique behavior pattern from birth, which will become what we later call temperament, character or personality. Within these temperaments or ways of reacting in babies, there are some that tend to appear placid and calm. These babies adapt well to changes and if something scares or bothers them they cry, but they are easy to calm as soon as you hold them in your arms or say a few words to them. The use of a pacifier is also good for them, but if we have offered it to them and they do not want it, it is not a problem, there is no need to force it. Yes, it is a good idea to have specific teethers and objects at your disposal that can relieve your discomfort during teething or highly sensitive processes, no matter what name we give it, the reality is that in these cases the use of a pacifier is especially useful, and that large doses of serenity and tranquility will be needed in the adult to help the child manage all this whirlwind of sensations and experiences.

When the use of a pacifier is not recommended

In general terms, the pacifier can be offered to any baby from the first moment. The pediatrician may advise against the use of a pacifier if he or she considers that there is any risk. This is the case for babies with Down syndrome, since sometimes hypotonia (lower muscle tone) of the mouth and tongue may make it inadvisable. I recommend making an individual assessment of each case.

Some advise waiting a few days until breastfeeding is established and the baby is well latched to the breast. In my experience, when there are problems in establishing breastfeeding, it is not due to the use of a pacifier. Although both behaviors (breastfeeding and taking a pacifier) ​​share the fact of sucking, they have a fundamental difference: through the act of breastfeeding, not only is the baby fed, it is also nourished on many other levels, since it represents a unique act of intimacy, dedication and closeness. If you want, you can wait a few days after the birth, but the best way to promote the establishment of breastfeeding is to have an attitude of “we are getting to know each other and we are going to learn together.”

Fortunately, there are many consultants and breastfeeding groups in hospitals and health centers for women who want to breastfeed their baby and encounter some difficulty or doubt. Remember that the most important thing is not the breast, nor the pacifier, nor the bottle. The most important thing is that as a mother and father, you have everything you need to provide your child with warmth and quality in the magical bond that unites you and will unite you forever. You are learning together and you have your whole life ahead of you to share and solve.

If you want to know how to help your child adapt to changes and regulate their emotions, you can consult this entry.

You can follow Lalu Gómez on his blog, on his Facebook, on Instagram, and Twitter.

Video production: Jesús Nicolás and Pablo Cantudo