Accompany from love and not from fear 2026

Congratulations mom! Congratulations dad! You are a very kind person and you deserve that recognition.

The beginning of this article may surprise you, but I see it like this: The decision to be a mother or father is a great act of generosity.

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Committed decision

Being parents is a decision that entails offering another person the great gift of life, and at the same time assuming the great responsibility of caring for, educating and accompanying that person on their path and process towards adult life.

In the vast majority of cases, this is a very thoughtful decision that is not usually taken lightly. And deep down, those of you who decide to have children are perfectly aware of the commitment you are making, which is not minor.

Positive vision

Then comes the time to understand and also accept that each child has come into the world to be who they are and carry out their own life project. And this part is often more costly.

The function you have as parents is to help another being to form and build themselves as a person, so that they can develop their own plan.

This is learning to accompany from love. When fear is given way, that is when interference and wanting to control everything appear. It is ultimately when you start to live their lives as well, in addition to yours.

Japanese bamboo

In my talks and courses I usually explain the growth process of Japanese bamboo, as an analogy of the role of parents in the education and support of their children. I think it can also serve as inspiration here.

The first thing you have to know is that the cultivation of Japanese bamboo is not suitable for the impatient. After planting the seed and for the first six years, nothing happens!

The farmers dedicate themselves to taking care of the plantation all that time. They water it and take all the necessary steps to care for it, although at first glance it doesn't look like anything resembling a plantation.

But surprisingly, during the seventh year in a matter of six weeks, the bamboo grows to reach more than thirty meters in height!

What has been happening all that time? Well, bamboo, in its process, forms a complex root system that will allow it to grow and sustain itself properly for the rest of its life.

Trust, commitment and responsibility

Do you see the similarity? Although we are Westerners and do not usually have patience installed as standard, the job of being a mother and father requires it. You are like bamboo farmers.

Accompanying your child in their process means going by their side along the way. Neither from behind pushing, nor from in front pulling him. They require encouragement, but also well-defined limits.

Accompanying from love is introducing, in a bidirectional sense, trust, commitment and responsibility into your relationship. These would be the stimuli.

Accompanying from love is deciding what happens when someone breaks trust, commitment and acceptance of their responsibility. Also in a bidirectional sense. These would be the limits.

As with bamboo, to live adolescence positively, add more care and love and leave less room for fear.

Mirari Bolumburu is a coach and Emotional Therapist for adolescents and adults with a 100% virtual coaching space at mirarionlinecoach

Video: How children see love