Only those who have been a mother know how difficult it sometimes is to care for a newborn. During the first weeks, there are complicated and disturbing moments that cloud the happiness of birth and prevent us from enjoying the little one. But don't get overwhelmed, luckily it's something temporary... and moms who have already been through it know that very well. Her experience and advice are a valuable help to new mothers. Ten expert moms give you their tricks to organize yourself better:
1. Organize help
"There are hours left and there are plenty of tasks." Without a doubt this is the feeling that most mothers have when they come home from the hospital. Therefore, knowing how to organize is essential. It is important that the mother dedicates most of her time to the baby to get to know him little by little, (now the most important thing is to enjoy the baby), but she will not be able to do it without the collaboration of the father or other trusted people. In addition, it is also important that she save some time of the day exclusively for herself: a relaxing bath, sleeping for a while or going out, even to go shopping, if she likes that or it relaxes her.
Mother's advice: «The whole family was willing to help me with my second child, but I didn't want to have the house full of people, like the first time. So I distributed the tasks before the birth: my mother-in-law was in charge of shopping and food; my mother did the laundry and ironing and my partner and my father dedicated themselves to our eldest son and so I could dedicate myself more to the baby.” Sara, 37 years old
2. “Forgetting” about cleaning
If the family finances do not allow paying a person to help keep the house impeccable, there is no choice but to stop being a perfectionist. You have to consider what the priorities are and what things can wait.
Mother's advice: «Before starting any household task, I asked myself if it was really essential. I removed from sight the decorations that accumulate more dust and delayed cleaning and I learned to use the iron as little as possible. It is surprising how many clothes can be stored without ironing if they stretch well when hanging! At first it is a little difficult to change the chip, but it is worth trying."Laura, 33 years old
3. Involve the father
The father has two days for the birth of a child plus 13 days of parental leave (20 in the case of a large family or disability). In this way you can be involved 24 hours a day both in caring for the baby and in the care that the mother needs.
Mother's advice: «I saw what were only small setbacks as huge problems. My partner helped me take motherhood more calmly. I remember, for example, that I would get very nervous when the phone rang, always at the most inopportune moment...Then he activated the answering service. When I got home I picked up the messages and returned the calls. For me it was a great relief."Alba, 29 years old
4. Appoint visitors
Having a house full of people all day is not the best thing to do; The baby and the mother need peace of mind and, at times, parents want to enjoy their child alone.
Mother's advice: «My parents and my in-laws would call before leaving the house and, if at that time I had other plans, such as going for a walk or taking a nap, I would suggest that they come at another time. Some friends met the child when he was more than a month old. I ended up giving appointments, with a day and time, to ensure that several visits did not come together. It is true that, at first, this decision was not understood, but later, when they saw that I could serve them better, they understood it."Sonia, 39 years old
5. Rest whenever possible
Even if the mother feels well, she should avoid excessive exertion during the first weeks. It is advisable to sleep at the same time as the child, since night sleep is necessarily interrupted for several weeks.
Mother's advice: "Since it was very difficult for me to take a nap during the day, it was very relaxing for me to lie on the couch and listen to music while my daughter slept." Alicia, 33 years old
6. Walk daily
It is advisable to walk for a while every day; at first not much so as not to get too tired. The walk constitutes a stimulus for the baby's development and the mother's recovery. The newborn can go out daily. In winter it is advisable to take it out during sunny hours, mid-morning, and in summer at the first or last hour of the day.
Mother's advice: "When my second son was born, I had to take him out early to take my oldest to school. I thought it was going to be a problem, but in reality it served as an excuse for me to have breakfast many days in a cafeteria, complete some pending paperwork, window shop, buy something or simply walk for a while. This walk relaxed us both a lot, I spent a couple of hours distracted, on my own, and the baby fell asleep as soon as we dropped his brother off at school."Marta, 34 years old
7. Sign up for a postpartum course
They are usually carried out in the same center where the preparation for childbirth is carried out. It is essential to go with the baby and, whenever possible, with your partner. In them, experiences are shared with other women who have also recently become mothers, physical recovery exercises are carried out, the couple's adaptation to the new situation is encouraged, and many doubts are clarified.
Mother's advice: «A month after giving birth I started a massage course for the baby at my health center. Then, when the children fell asleep, we mothers did a little gymnastics. I was looking forward to the class, because there I felt understood and supported and, in addition, I could resolve many doubts with the midwife. I even exchanged phone numbers with a couple of mothers from the neighborhood and now we meet up from time to time." María, 36 years old
8. Recover your figure without rushing
Doctors recommend not starting any type of weight loss diet in the six weeks following childbirth. At this stage it is essential to take care of yourself, rest and adapt to the pace of life imposed by the baby. After this period, you can consume less caloric foods, while still taking the necessary proteins, vitamins, minerals and carbohydrates, and put into practice a gentle gymnastics table to recover your waist and strengthen your soft belly. You have to be patient and not obsess over your figure. With time and some care, everything will return to its place.
Mother's advice: «Two weeks after giving birth, I tried to put on my pre-pregnancy clothes and I was very disappointed. I weighed more or less the same as always, but I was very swollen after the cesarean section. I bought some things thinking it would never fit into my clothes again and surprise! After four months I had to put them away because they were huge. If I have another child, I will borrow something after giving birth." Laura, 30 years old
9. Maintain intimacy with your partner
In addition to taking care of the baby, it is good to reserve time for life as a couple. We must try to take care of the relationship, despite the tensions or fatigue of these days. Motherhood can cause physical fatigue, discomfort in the genital area, decreased desire, and increased vaginal dryness. Regaining your sex life takes time, but there are many ways to show affection and love besides intercourse.
Mother's advice: "Three months after the child was born, we realized that the baby was practically our only topic of conversation and our life as a couple was disappearing. So now, from time to time, we leave the child with the grandparents for a few hours and go out alone to dinner or to the movies and disconnect from the routine a little bit."Lucía, 35 years old
10. Comfort the baby as soon as possible
When a baby cries it is for something, the longer it takes to go to his side, the more nervous he will become and the more difficult it will be to console him. Caresses and cuddles communicate our affection and calm him. Some children are difficult to console, which can test the mother's nerves. In those moments, it is best to ask the father to take over, take a deep breath and regain serenity and calm. Over time, all mothers manage to distinguish the baby's cries and better recognize their needs, but there is no need to feel bad; This learning period is also positive in the development of motherhood.
Mother's advice: «My son calmed down easily in his little backpack, close to my body. At home I did many of the tasks with him “hanging on” and when I went out I always carried the kangaroo in the stroller in case he got very nervous. Sometimes, I had to come home with an empty car and the child in the sling attached to me because it was the only way for him to be calm." Iria, 29 years old.
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