How to accompany a person who has lost their baby before birth? 2026

Many of the couples who go through an experience like this, carry it alone and in silence, because they feel that socially, there is little space for listening and support when going through this situation. They report that the people around them, whether healthcare personnel, family or friends, tend to minimize what happened, to not understand what they are going through, they hope that the shock that the news has produced, their feelings of sadness, hopelessness and helplessness, will pass quickly and that what they experienced will be left behind, without further ado.

However, suffering a perinatal loss represents a complex emotional experience for the mother and father to navigate. They may or may not have physically met their baby, but whatever the case, the termination of pregnancy implies an immense loss, which can even be traumatic on a psychological level.

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During pregnancy, parents have bonded strongly with their baby, during this time they have been building a nest for him in their minds. They have woven illusions, desires, expectations, the idea of ​​being parents of this child has been created within each of them. They have spoken to him through the womb, they have thought about him, they have named him. For them, this baby that they have only felt move, that they have only seen through echoes, that has not yet been born, already has a place in their lives.

For this reason, it is very important to promote emotional care for parents who experience the death of their baby before birth or a few days after birth. Being able to genuinely empathize with them and keep in mind that any significant emotional loss implies that the person has to go through a grieving process.

From a psychological point of view, perinatal grief is a normal and expected response to the loss of the baby. It will be a time in which parents go through various stages, feeling anger, helplessness, sadness, anguish and/or guilt. In addition, they may present symptoms such as tachycardia, fatigue, loss of appetite, sleep disorders, among others.

The way each member of the couple grieves is subjective and individual; it will depend on what the baby means to each of them, on their psychological resources, on how traumatic the moment in which the loss occurred was, but above all, on understanding, emotional support, and the space they have to express their feelings freely, without being judged or questioned.

3 ideas to accompany a person who has lost a child

Now, how to accompany a person or a family who has lost their baby before birth or a few days after birth? What things are important to take into account when we have a family member or friend going through a perinatal grieving process?

Here I leave you 3 suggestions that can help you assertively accompany you in these moments:1. Listen to them: parents need the person who is with them to be able to give them the opportunity to express what they are feeling. Many times silence, simply being present, being able to hug or hold hands, is much more comforting and useful than filling that space with words, which are sometimes said because you don't know what to say, and without intention, they can end up hurting.2. Validate their feelings: convey to them that what they are feeling is valid, that you can understand (even without having lived a similar experience) how much they loved their baby and the pain they are feeling for this great loss.3. Be patient. Don't rush them!: The process of perinatal grief does not have a specific duration, nor an established order, and it is different for each person. Keep in mind that different feelings will appear, there will be setbacks, relapses, until little by little, parents can find the place they want to give this child in their lives, and without ever forgetting their baby, the symptoms of grief will disappear.

Article written by Olivia Szinetar is a psychologist and psychotherapist at Sens Psychological Care Center.