Bastien and the Blipoux is a children's book that doubles as a gentle communication lesson for the whole family, parents included. Written for children from about six or seven years old, it was created by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, the well-known designers of parent-child communication workshops.
The story follows Bastien, a boy who struggles to get along with his parents, his sister and his friends because he believes everyone should do what he wants and that arguments are always their fault. One evening, after a day full of conflict, two Blipoux visit him and offer two very different ways of handling the same problems.
Quick takeaways
- Two Blipoux, Groge and Mori, model violent versus respectful responses.
- Each chapter shows the consequences of both strategies side by side.
- Situations with parents, siblings and friends feel familiar to children.
- The shared vocabulary helps families name conflict in the moment.
- Children may also point out when adults act like Groge.
- Suitable from around six or seven years old, and useful for parents too.
What the Book Is About
In Bastien and the Blipoux, the two visitors represent opposing strategies. Groge is a kind of bad voice convinced that threats, blackmail and violence always get results. Mori, by contrast, focuses on expressing feelings, making respectful requests and finding compromises.
Each chapter sets up a situation and shows the effects of both approaches: what happens when Bastien listens to Groge, and what happens when he listens to Mori. Children are led to understand that demanding, hitting or insulting always escalates the violence and breaks the bond, while naming emotions and seeking solutions together satisfies everyone in a calmer atmosphere.
The situations feel familiar, which is exactly what makes the book work as emotional education. A conflict with his mother about clothes is resolved through a shared, creative search for solutions; a dispute with his sister over pencils is settled with a firm but respectful request; a disagreement with a friend ends in compromise.
Two Voices Children Can Recognize
Every time, mischievous Groge tries to push Bastien toward a violent solution, and the consequences are so clear that Bastien eventually sides with Mori, noticing that his life and the lives of others are better for it. The story never lectures; it simply lets children watch the results unfold.
That structure gives families a shared vocabulary. Once the book is read, you can refer back to it in potentially explosive moments and ask which voice is speaking: Groge or Mori? You can also gently warn a child that Groge seems to be influencing them, without turning it into an accusation.
Children Can Spot the Groge in Adults
Children also have the right to point out when adults are acting like a Groge in power, and that permission matters. It turns the book into a two-way tool rather than a lesson aimed only at kids. For more everyday support with young children, these newborn enjoyment tips and this guide on learning to walk show how patience pays off at every stage.
| Approach | What it looks like | Likely result |
|---|---|---|
| Groge | Threats, blackmail, hitting, insults | Escalation and a broken bond |
| Mori | Naming feelings clearly | The other person understands |
| Mori | Making a firm, respectful request | Needs are heard without a fight |
| Mori | Searching for a solution together | Everyone gains, calmer mood |
| Both | Asking which voice is speaking | Awareness instead of blame |
How to Use It at Home
Read the book together rather than handing it over, so the situations can be discussed while they are fresh. Pause after a chapter and ask your child what they would have done, or which voice they think Bastien followed. Keep the tone curious, not corrective.
Then use the vocabulary in real life. When a conflict starts over a screen, a toy or bedtime, name the choice calmly: are we going with Groge or Mori here? The question works surprisingly well because it separates the child from the behavior.
The same approach fits playtime, where sharing and turn-taking create small conflicts. If you are looking for gifts that encourage cooperative play, these screen free toys and this list of toys under $25 offer plenty of options. For quieter moments, a toy for the car can prevent backseat arguments before they start.
Why Gentle Communication Matters
Gentle communication is not about being permissive. Mori's approach includes firm, clear requests, which shows children that respect and boundaries go together. The book makes that distinction visible without abstract theory.
It also gives parents a mirror. Adults who ask children to express feelings respectfully must model the same behavior, and the story makes that expectation fair rather than one-sided. A home where feelings can be named tends to need fewer punishments.
This connects to wider parenting values, such as the values of Thanksgiving or the way we talk about roles at home, as in this piece on the housewife stereotype. Even small rituals, like a calm baby bath routine, build the habit of speaking kindly. And when children are afraid or upset, as with a fear of water, naming the feeling first is often the fastest way through it.
Where to Find the Book
Bastien and the Blipoux by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish is published by Les éditions du Phare and is available in libraries, bookshops and online retailers. Borrowing it from a media library is an easy way to try it before buying.
If you like browsing in person, independent shops often have a parenting shelf worth exploring; these guides to toy stores in Charlotte toy stores and 10 Best Toy Stores show how varied those spaces can be. Wherever you find it, the book rewards being read more than once.
My hands-on take
I started reading this book aloud at bedtime, expecting my child to be the one who needed it. By the third chapter I was the one squirming, recognizing my own Groge moments in the way I sometimes raise my voice to end an argument quickly. We began asking the question at dinner, half joking: which voice is talking now? It defused more than one standoff over shoes and homework.
What I appreciate most is that it does not pretend respectful communication is easy or instant. Mori still has to repeat requests and negotiate, and sometimes it fails. That honesty made the book credible to my child, who noticed that the calm path takes longer but leaves everyone in a better mood afterward.
Frequently asked questions
What age is Bastien and the Blipoux suitable for?
It is written for children from about six or seven years old, though younger children can follow it if an adult reads aloud. Parents get just as much from it.
Who wrote the book?
It was written by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, the creators of the well-known parent-child communication workshops. It is published by Les éditions du Phare.
Can it really change how we argue at home?
It gives families a shared language rather than a magic fix. Referring back to Groge and Mori during tense moments helps everyone pause and choose a calmer response.
Do I need to read it before my child?
Reading it together works best, because the situations invite discussion. Knowing the story yourself also lets you use the vocabulary naturally afterward.
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