After getting divorced, many people fall in love again and decide to commit to a new relationship. The situation is complicated when one or both partners have children from the previous relationship.
Being clear that we are facing a different family model from the traditional one and that therefore it will require some changes and tasks from us will be essential for the well-being and happiness of this new family.
1. We come from a duel
When we are as a couple we build a space together, we discover aspects of our own identity and we create a common life project. We grow with each other and although we have our individuality, we feel and think as a couple. Much of our image and who we are is in relation to the union we form.
When the relationship breaks down we have to redefine all these aspects. How then can I separate who I am if much of what defines me is linked to a common history? That's why the grieving process for separation is so complicated.
There are many people who, even if they divorce, remain hooked on their ex-partner. They have not been able to overcome this loss and are in what we call frozen grief. They are invaded by anger, pain and a feeling of injustice that makes it impossible to advance in the elaboration of this process. This situation is disastrous for starting a new family project, since even though we are physically separated and want to leave the relationship behind, we maintain such a strong emotional bond with each other that it is continually present in our daily lives.
In order to close this relationship, it is important to have constructed an explanation that gives meaning to this loss. The work of grieving is painful and awakens a lot of sadness and emotions in us that can lead us to other past stages of suffering, but we should not translate it into aggression or anger towards the ex-partner.
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Each life crisis may involve pain, uncertainty and fear, but it is also an opportunity to find ourselves, start new projects and emerge stronger from this experience.
2. Ex-partner but not ex-father or ex-mother
The Best Building Block Sets for Creative Kids and Adult Collectors
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