Blackmail is not the way to educate 2026

We are always up to date with all the information regarding the best diet, vaccines, hygiene, etc. We take them to the best pediatricians, ophthalmologists, dentists..., we read many articles about health, we are part of numerous groups on social networks so that we don't miss anything, we discuss the latest news with the other parents at our children's school, etc.

Logically, their well-being is what worries and occupies us the most. "Anything for a child," we usually say.

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And, truly, this is how it should be, since since we become parents we are responsible for the health of our children at all levels. It is very common, therefore, that in all homes we try to establish good habits so that children understand the importance of taking care of their health.

And it is precisely in moments such as those of teaching and learning these guidelines regarding health when many conflicts arise between parents and children, and where the former lose their nerve, become stressed and blackmail the latter constantly.

Forget negative phrases

These are some examples of phrases that are best forgotten from our vocabulary:

These blackmails are real and common in the lives of many families. And the worst thing is that it is not only because of the health issue, it has reached a point where children are blackmailed for absolutely everything.

Emotional blackmail has dire consequences on the present and future lives of children. Among others, it causes an inferiority complex and lack of self-esteem, stress and depression, social difficulties, learning and concentration problems, fears and phobias, sadness, believing themselves incapable of many things they would like to do in life...

When we blackmail our children we become their manipulators, people who pull the strings of others, subtly forcing them to do what they want to achieve their goal.

Blackmail towards children is so integrated into society that it has become normalized. We see it as absolutely natural when a mother in a shopping center decides to tell her daughter: "If you cry because I don't buy you this toy, Santa Claus is not going to bring you anything." Not only do we understand it as normal, but there are times when it makes us laugh to see that little girl stop crying ipso facto, really thinking that she is going to run out of gifts on Christmas Day.

And this indicates that we have a serious problem as a society.

Blackmail causes fear, fear and pain and, of course, this is what it teaches.

It should be noted, therefore, that when we blackmail our children we are teaching them that blackmail is correct and positive for communicating and relating.

I have read hundreds of articles that give guidelines to parents on what to do when their children emotionally blackmail them, since they are seriously concerned about this attitude in them. None of these guidelines indicate the only valid one: stop educating them through blackmail. Children learn to emotionally blackmail if they are blackmailed during their childhood and/or adolescence; They will never be able to change this if they continue to be blackmailed. And if it has been done regularly, it will entail a great deal of re-education work (on the part of the parents) so that their children also relearn new ways of communicating and, therefore, have a different attitude towards life.

Blackmail is something very deep, a wound open forever.

Therefore, stopping blackmail is not easy, as I said, it is something we have very much assumed; but it is not impossible. Quite the opposite, it is possible and brings a great change – for the better – in our lives.

If we want children who are respectful, empathetic, with good self-esteem, who know how to relate, who have goals in life, who are happy, collaborative, tolerant, who respect themselves and others... and, ultimately, who are happy, we must stop using blackmail with them.

How can we stop using these harmful and harmful ways?

To do this, it is necessary to carry out a deep reflection on how we educate and have the firm objective of wanting to change and improve, since it will entail a significant effort but, of course, it is worth it for them and for us.

Some tools to stop blackmailing:

Worrying about the health of our children obviously involves worrying about their mental, psychological and emotional health; work hard at it and get involved daily to do it better.

So remember that it is as important for children to brush their teeth, eat vegetables and sleep for a few hours as it is for us parents to stop blackmailing them.

To live without being blackmailed is to gain health.

Tania García, director of Edurespet and author of 'Guide for imperfect mothers and fathers who understand that their children are also imperfect'