10 tricks to control visits 2026

1. Do not warn that you are in labor. This is the first maxim to keep in mind. There is nothing wrong with it, it is an intimate moment and it is understandable that mom and dad want to experience it alone (well, and with the baby). In fact, more and more couples are seen arriving alone at the maternity hospital and only subsequently calling grandparents and close uncles.

2. Filter calls. If you don't want to disappear from the map completely, you can turn off just mom's phone. The father, with the cell phone on silent, can filter the calls and answer the ones he deems most convenient.

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3. Create a WhatsApp group. Although we sometimes deny it because it keeps ringing and ringing, it is true that WhatsApp groups are very good for sharing information with many people at the same time. Through dad's cell phone (mom will not be 'available' for these chores), you can make a group with the closest people, who are really waiting for the birth, and tell them (once everything has happened) how the mother and the child are doing, even send the first photos of the newborn.

4. Little time in the room. If people still show up at the hospital without warning, the situation will have to be handled delicately and try to make it a quick visit. If you are in a hospital, not at a real reception, it is easy to make it understood that the mother needs to rest. And of course no crowds in the rooms, even if they are private. The luck is that this is usually done by the nurses who immediately 'parade' the staff.

5. No colds nearby. You should not let anyone with a cold or any infection near the baby. It is normal for the affected person to avoid meeting the newborn until their illness improves, but if this is not the case, the parents must explain that the child has low defenses and is easy to become infected.

6. “Don't wake him up.” Dad and mom are the ones who set the rules regarding the baby and must remain firm in their ideas. Others have to respect that mom has the little one in her arms and not pick him up, or leave him in the crib, if he is asleep... A lot of reasons can be given: 'the child is restless', 'he has just breastfed and needs to sleep...'. That doesn't mean they can't look at him in his crib and caress his little hands.

7. Older brothers are not 'visitors'. They are a point and apart. They will be looking forward to seeing their new little brother and it is a good opportunity for them to feel involved in what is happening. It can even help soften jealousy of the newcomer.

at home

8. The first days, alone. The ideal is for the family to spend the first days at home alone, then visits can be organized according to preferences, leaving engagement visits last. The important thing now is that mom and baby are comfortable and that can only be achieved with trusted people at home. And yes, parents have to set a limit time for visits. Late in the afternoon, tiredness sets in and, if there are older siblings, it is time for showers and dinner.

9. Disconnect the phones. Normally in a house there is more than one (landline and mobile phones) and, just like in the hospital, nothing happens because we remain 'incommunicado' for a while. You can let your grandparents or closest friends know that you need a day or afternoon of relaxation, and that you are going to isolate yourself from the world (so they don't worry).

10.And always with a smile! All these instructions can be given in a good manner, with affection, and above all, with a lot, a lot of common sense, that each family is a world and so is everyone's visits.

Advisor: Francesca Durán, head of midwives at the Joan XXIII Hospital in Tarragona.