10 things you should not say to a mother (even if you have been hearing them all your life) 2026

There are times, many in fact, when it is a very positive exercise to stand in front of the mirror and examine one's conscience. And that's what we're going to do in the following lines, pointing out ten of the worst things you can say to a mother, especially when you've been one not too long ago.

We have all, to a greater or lesser extent, fallen into these types of errors that we should avoid at all costs because advice, at least in this matter of motherhood, is given when someone asks for it, nothing more. Being a father or mother does not give the right to have an opinion on what others do, much less to express it with the wrong language with which many grandparents, uncles, friends and a long etcetera, do it. Watch your tone, please.

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Are you prepared to read them, think about how many of them you've fallen for, and assume that you might not have done the right thing by saying something like that to someone else?

“If you hold him so much in your arms he will get used to it”

We start the list gently with a classic from grandparents, who insist on it without bad intentions but that doesn't mean they are right to say it. More than anything because it is not true, not only because it may bother the child's mother, who all she wants is to give all the love and protection in the world to her little one.

“Don't let him sleep in your bed because he will never get out of it.”

This comment has been said so much that it has been assimilated as truth by a large percentage of the population. We remind all of them that children have the memory of a fish, so just as they get used to a habit like co-sleeping, they can do it to another. Furthermore, they only want the protection of knowing that their parents are nearby, so we should start by legitimizing the fact that they want to sleep next to them and that they accept it with pleasure.

“Oops, this kid doesn’t look anything like you!”

Beyond the absurdity of not stopping looking for family comparisons, no matter how inevitable, there is nothing worse than making a comment like that to a mother who is probably going through a period of affected self-esteem. Sometimes silence is the best way to contribute positive things.

“What that child is hungry (or sleepy), that's why he cries”

A mother spends hours and hours with her newborn child, so they know him better than anyone else and long before the rest as well. It can be exasperating to be told over and over again what happens to him when he cries if as a mother you know perfectly well what is happening. And it is very likely that at some point it will jump, with all the reason in the world.

It seems like they left the child inside you!

There are few comments more hurtful than this, and the worst of all is that they are heard often. There are a million jokes to choose from in those first visits to the mother and the newborn to have to choose just this one, the only thing that will get you is the displeasure of the mother, who knows that her body is still not as it was before.

“Prepare not to sleep”

Maybe it doesn't hurt as much as other comments, but depending on the context, it's also unnecessary to tell a mother that she's not going to sleep and that she's going to be bored when it's time to feed her little one. It is clear that motherhood has delicate moments and some consequences that are hard to bear, but it also has many beautiful aspects, so it is better not to speculate on something that is not yet known what it will be like. If the child does not sleep well, you will surely have hours and hours to talk about it.

“I'm coming to see the baby.”

If no one has invited you, it doesn't hurt to ask first if you can come for a visit. That on the one hand, because this point has a second part: if you go to visit, try not to make it obvious that you only want to see the little one and not the mother, who surely needs much more love than the child, to whom his parents give it tirelessly.

“How are you carrying the baby like that, so little covered?”

Another of the great classics could not be missing from the list. Children don't have to go around like onions, and furthermore, if there is one thing a new mother is going to sin about, it is wearing the child too warm, not otherwise. And in three days you will know if your little one will like it or not because that is what the bond between mother and child is about, which is unique and non-transferable.

“What that child needs is a good spanking in time.”

It sounds as ugly as this comment is, but it is still often heard in private spaces... and also in public ones, such as parks or restaurants. And they don't always come from the mouths of older people. It is not necessary to explain at this point why educating based on physical and verbal aggressiveness is not a correct decision.

“Well, you ate sweets when you were little…”

There are many dads and moms who make real efforts to ensure that their children eat healthy and varied, limiting sweets and ultra-processed foods. It does not mean that they prohibit them, which is also fine if someone does, but rather that they prevent them from being part of the daily diet. And instead of valuing the effort positively, the rest of us put obstacles in the way of their decision with comments like this. Yes, indeed before we ate much sweeter, and now we know how bad that was...