What are the stages that a family must go through? 2026

People develop emotionally based on their relationships with their closest circle throughout their individual and family life cycle. Thus, families also go through a life cycle that needs to be attended to so that its members can develop emotionally in a healthy way. To do this, it is necessary that the family can adequately resolve the crises associated with each stage of the life cycle, carrying out different tasks. When any of these crises is not resolved, the resolution of both that stage and subsequent ones may be difficult.

Thus, we can classify the stages of the life cycle and the tasks that a family must resolve into the following:

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Young Adult Individuation

It is the stage in which the young adult must gain autonomy, consolidating their identity as a person independent of their parents. During this period, the individual may leave the parental home, look for work, and/or adjust the relationship with his or her parents to an equal relationship.

The main task that the family must face at this stage is for the young person to be able to differentiate themselves from their parents. A process of disengagement of the child from the father and mother figure, moving from the initial fusion to the emotional autonomy of his family of origin.

Couple formation

During this phase, the union of two people who come from different family systems occurs, something that will involve combining and negotiating beliefs, expectations, values and behaviors, forming a new, different organization. The main challenge in this phase is establishing the new system.

In addition, borders with the outside world will be consolidated and, once again, a balance will be sought between the couple's intimacy and contact with it.

Birth of children and early childhood

Some of the tasks that must be resolved at this stage are the distribution of childcare responsibilities and new household chores. A balance must be sought between maintaining the parental role and the couple's role, as well as adapting to the treatment of each child based on their age and needs.

If parents have more children, the family system will have to readjust and manage the new sibling subsystem, including aspects such as rivalry and cooperation.

It is common for couples to come into conflict at this stage because each one brings their own suitcase, that is, their own experience with their family of origin in terms of values, ways of upbringing, etc. This implies that the couple will have to renegotiate these aspects and create a new model.

On the other hand, when motherhood and fatherhood are accessed through other means, such as fertility treatments or adoption, there are specificities and other tasks to resolve, such as managing the stress that associated situations entail.

Divorce or separation

Divorce is a very important stressor for families. Children must face a difficult mourning. Parents, in addition to managing their own discomfort, must also deal with that of their children. New difficulties are also added, such as decisions associated with divorce (financial distribution, custody, etc.).

How parents handle the divorce will affect the emotional development of the child, so managing it appropriately will minimize its impact on the children. The main challenge at this stage is for parents to be able to respect their children's status as children or adolescents, protecting them from the tensions and decisions of adults, without them participating in them.

Thus, it will be essential for parents to understand that the marital couple divorces but never the parental couple. Both have the responsibility to continue their relationship as parents, forming a team, communicating and supporting each other on issues that affect the upbringing of their son or daughter. It is normal that there are disagreements, but the attitude of the parents and their flexibility to resolve them will be key, always prioritizing the interests of the minor.

Children's adolescence

Adolescence is a difficult stage to manage, both for the adolescent himself and for his parents. The most important challenge that adolescents must face is the search for their own identity, for which they must be able to differentiate themselves from their parents.

During this stage tensions arise that once again will have to be negotiated. The family rules used until now no longer work, since the adolescent needs greater autonomy, while continuing to maintain contact and emotional support to allow the adolescent to explore and experiment, but counting on their support when they have difficulties.

Likewise, they should facilitate the search for their identity by promoting their skills and interests.

Abandonment of children's home

Currently, the emancipation of children has been delayed mainly for socioeconomic reasons. This situation can generate friction in families since a coexistence is maintained that does not correspond to the life stage of the parents or the children.

If the children become independent, the parents must reunite as a couple. By losing their parental role, the well-known “empty nest” can occur, which refers to the feeling of emptiness that the mother and/or father experiences when they lose their parental or parental role when their children leave home. Sometimes, unresolved couple conflicts are covered up through this role. The main challenge is for parents to perceive this situation as an opportunity to recover their couple and individual spaces. The children, for their part, will have to face a new life totally autonomous from their parents, developing all the skills necessary for this (coping with rent payments, shopping, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc.).

Family in the elderly

During this stage, parents (perhaps already grandparents) must manage many griefs, such as the loss of a job with retirement, decline in physical health and energy, deaths of loved ones, etc. At this stage they must manage these duels, take care of the maintenance of the couple and family reorganization.

On the other hand, it is currently very common for grandparents to serve as primary caregivers for grandchildren and actively participate in their upbringing as parents have long working hours. This situation can generate conflicts between grandparents and parents due to disparity in parenting criteria and subject the former to great wear and tear.

Finally, there are new family realities that can coincide with some stages of the life cycle of traditional families and go through other very different ones due to their own characteristics, such as:

1. Single-parent families: formed by one parent and one or more children. The entry route to this type of family is through the death of one of the parents, the abandonment of one of them, separation or divorce, as well as by own choice. The main task will be for the parent to be able to manage the difficulties and stress associated with practicing parenthood alone.
2. Stepfamilies: formed by a couple in which at least one of the two adults brings one or more children from previous relationships. In these families there are many stressors and challenges to face, such as the children's rejection of the new partner and other family relationship and coexistence problems.
3. Homoparental families: studies carried out with empirical field work with children living with homosexual fathers and mothers show that there are no substantial differences in their personal, social, intellectual and psycho-affective development compared to the rest of minors raised in other types of family structures. However, homoparental families still have to constantly demonstrate their parental aptitude. They must face stressors such as homophobia, which undoubtedly affects them on an individual and family level.
4. Transnational families: these are families in which at least one of the members is a migrant. They carry a history of emigration, with its associated difficulties (abandonment of their country and loss of loved ones, adaptation to a new country with a different language and culture, etc.). They face difficult challenges such as mourning the losses (their country, family, friends, work...) and building their belonging in the context of their destination.

Article prepared by Cristina Botella, General Health psychologist, family and child and adolescent therapist at Psicoluciones Pozuelo