Big brother's jealousy is back! 2026

When a baby is born, the older brother is afraid of losing the attention of his parents and his privileged family rank, that of 'little one of the house', no less. During childhood, some express their fears and behave in a hostile manner, recover attitudes from when they were younger or, in some cases, redouble their friendliness and appear excessively kind and solicitous.

This situation subsides as soon as the elder realizes that, despite everything, he continues to maintain his status in the home. "In general, the greater the age difference, the better the boys accept and resolve jealousy and rivalry," says Guillermo Kozameh, a child psychoanalyst.

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In adolescence or pre-adolescence, jealousy can return. Older siblings tend to think that their parents are demanding more from them than from the second (in homework, grades, order in the room) and that, on top of that, the little one now enjoys more rights than they once enjoyed.

Sometimes he is right and, indeed, the youngest has more rights and fewer responsibilities. To avoid this, parents should ensure that they distribute privileges and obligations impartially, according to the age and personal circumstances of each child.

The complaints of the elderly sometimes encourage healthy internal reflection in parents. If the firstborn complains too much, perhaps it is time to review our approaches and ask ourselves if we are being truly equitable.

However, many other times, parents behave fairly with all their children and the eldest also complains... In this case, we must stop and think that our child is going through a delicate time (adolescence). The boy is growing very quickly and, perhaps, needs to get some extra attention from his parents.

Tactics to implement

Some parents are not clear that what seems fair for one child may be totally unfair for another (for example, when it comes to bedtime: it is understandable that the little one goes to bed early and the older one stays for a while to watch TV). Solving the problem by erasing the differences (both of you in bed or both of you watching TV) is not a correct way to proceed. Each child has different needs and desires and age differences must be respected in all situations.

• It is advisable to be patient and adopt a dialogic attitude. The psychoanalyst indicates that "it is necessary to talk a lot with all children to clarify the difficulties and advantages that come with the differences between them."
• We must explain to them our way of understanding each of their complaints.
• If the parents have changed their educational criteria over time or an economic problem has arisen in the family, with repercussions on the children's pay or the clothes they wear, it should be mentioned.
• We can tell our older child that being so aware of what his little brother does or doesn't do takes away his energy to attend to other important aspects of his life.
• It is important to praise him frequently and thank him for his help, because it will boost his self-esteem and help resolve this critical situation.
• Sometimes it also works to ask him to teach his little brothers to perform certain tasks; he will probably find it rewarding.
• And we shouldn't get too worried if, no matter what we do, there is some fluff left; jealousy and rivalry are considered normal in relationships between people. The strange thing would be if they did not manifest themselves between brothers.