Lack of libido after becoming parents, how to recover it? 2026

That sex life declines after having a child is something that everyone takes for granted. Dreams interrupted several times during the night; extreme fatigue accumulated to a point never before known by your body; in the process of physical and mental recovery in the case of the mother, which is more complicated if she is breastfeeding; possible feeling of insecurity about how the body will react... Like having a sexual appetite. You don't even have many days of culinary appetite to feel like thinking about sex. The lack of libido, partial or absolute, is something common and completely normal after becoming parents, and it is not easy, although we are going to try, to generalize about how to recover it.

The lack of libido can become the cause of a problem where there should not be one as long as both are aware that this happens because there is nothing like time for the river to return to its course.

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Time and patience

These are times when emotions are on the surface and hormonal changes are the order of the day. And to all this is added a process of adaptation for both of them to a completely different routine as a family and in which, in addition, the woman suffers enormous physical changes that she needs to assimilate naturally, without added burdens from her partner. The role of someone who has not given birth in this entire process is very important, and a good way to understand it is to research it. There is no need to study a thesis either because all the reports and expert testimonies point in the same direction: the mother can take more than six months after childbirth to recover physically and emotionally. This study published by the Murdoch Children Research Institute explains this. This time horizon is better explained, from a scientific point of view, in the case of breastfeeding mothers, because it is from the sixth month onwards - the baby begins complementary feeding - when prolactin no longer reaches such high values, allowing the level of estrogen and testosterone to return to pre-birth levels.

This does not mean that the partners of those who have given birth cannot be the ones who experience the absence of sexual desire. In fact, it is also common that, in the case of men, testosterone decreases and many are unable to find the sexual motivation that they did experience before fatherhood due to recurring factors in this post-fatherhood stage such as fatigue, stress or lack of free time, among others.

Make up for lost time

For all this, in addition to having patience and a lot of empathy to understand the specific circumstances that exclusively affect your relationship and thus act accordingly, it is important to take small steps hand in hand. Without any rush and without having sex on the way even in the medium term. It is much more important at this stage to resume old customs as a couple to strengthen that bond that has been overshadowed by parenthood, which can overwhelm absolutely everything. Generally it does so in a positive way, but it is so strong that it is capable of having a negative impact as well.

Taking care of the body - with rest whenever the baby allows it - and the other's mind, not just one's own, without this being any mathematical formula, of course, are the foundations on which it will be easier to ensure that sexual desire reappears as it was present before becoming parents, with the addition of feeding the house a wonderful newborn human being.

For all this, constant communication, finding small moments in which to cultivate intimacy no matter how difficult it may be for you, complicity and of course the aforementioned empathy, that ability to put yourself in the skin and head of the other at all times, are the fundamental ingredients to recover sexual desire, with which it is also very important not to become obsessed.

And if when libido makes an appearance again the problem becomes one of insecurity, remember that sexual activity is wide and varied. Imagination to power. It is never too late to explore other paths in which everything connects.