How to help a teenager if a friend dies 2026

It is common that, by the time they reach mid-adolescence, a minor has already suffered the loss of a loved one. In general, this is usually the death of an older family member that occurred at some point during the previous stages of development, basically for statistical and life evolution reasons.

However, there is one type of loss that is very significant for most adolescents: the death of a close friend. This represents a milestone in adolescent life that usually marks the majority of those who experience an event of these characteristics.

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Grief in adolescence

Adolescence is one of the most important social periods of the human being. The adolescent is gregarious, jealous of his group of friends. That is where the most important relationships begin and many of them can survive into adulthood and even old age.

Adolescents dress similarly, express similar tastes and aesthetics, share secrets, confidences... In these groups there are usually intimate pairs, who share all kinds of plans.

The fact that such a close friend of our child dies means a loss for the teenager that involves much more than we imagine, since:

- An adventure companion dies. - The minor loses many future projects, medium and long-term planning is interrupted. - There is an intense loss of communication with his peers. - He loses the person to whom he had confided many secrets. - He feels guilt for the things that have been interrupted, for those that were not said, or those that were said and not resolved. - A feeling of injustice remains. The death of a young person sometimes leaves a feeling of interrupted life in those around him. It is common for us to think that it was too soon, that there were many things left to do or experience, or that life is treating us unfairly. - The minor has a feeling of existential emptiness in the face of this death; in these situations one usually feels a loss of the meaning of life. - Incomprehension and ambivalence. Many people will try to console them by claiming that the deceased was “just a friend.” The minor will feel obliged to turn the page, when sometimes it is not possible. At the same time you may feel that no one understands the value you placed on friendship, hence the feeling of incomprehension.

How to deal with my teenage son's grief

In these circumstances, it is possible to help them, at least, to show them an attitude that prevents the intensity of those sensations described from increasing, for example:

1.Letting them know that we are there for them.2. Not downplaying the loss they have suffered.3. Trying to understand the dimensions of the loss. 4. Avoiding saying things like: “You'll make another best friend,” “You'll get over it…”5. It is advisable to allow them to organize tributes and activities in memory of their friend.6. Giving them love and supporting their progress.

Article prepared by Patricia Díaz Seoane, psychologist at the Mario Losantos del Campo Foundation (FMLC).