Are our children misbehaving? 2026

You've probably heard that when a child feels good, everything goes well. So what happens when you feel bad? You may find yourself in one of these situations: - You don't know what to do when he or she behaves inappropriately.

- You are tired of repeating things a million times without being paid attention to.

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- You feel that your children challenge you with their behavior. - Your children demand constant attention from you at all times, and they go into a loop, never having enough of what you give them. - Or no matter how hard you try to understand them, you don't get it. Exactly. When your children feel bad, our adult brain understands that they are behaving badly.

Let me tell you, that's not entirely true. If we only take into account our point of view as a father or mother, we are not having a complete view of the situation. Depending on the age of our children, they will have more or less capacity to solve what is so unpleasant that they are feeling. It's nothing more than that. Look, how easy, right? The trick is to observe, empathize and give tools. If we comply with these three premises, we move away from the statement of this article, and we will stop believing that the bad behavior is ours. Observing implies being aware of the evolutionary development in which our children are. We will not ask our one-year-old son to explain to us why he is having a tantrum. Basically because she does not know how to express in words what is happening to her, which may be hunger, discomfort or sleep. In the same way, we can propose to our nine-year-old daughter that expressing her anger by breaking everything in front of her is not a good option. At that age, and taking into account the two aspects that I am going to explain to you below, it is perfectly understandable and reasonable. He will accept your proposal, and in a way that is respectful of the environment, without having to damage the things within his reach, he will be able to express his discomfort and redirect his emotional state. Secondly, empathy. It is important that they feel understood by you. Any emotion is and should be legitimized, validated or allowed (whatever you prefer to call it). It is true that in the middle of the supermarket line it bothers us that our seven-year-old son does not have enough patience to wait ten minutes for it to be our turn to pay and go home. On the one hand, because at that age, and as we have seen in the first point, he is very much in the here and now. And he doesn't feel like having to wait at all. So at this point: empathize. You can tell him that you understand why he doesn't feel like standing in line, because maybe he's tired from being at school all day, and he wants to get home to play and unwind. That would be a very good way to move away again from the belief that it is our child who is misbehaving, and understand that he is only seven years old and tired. And, finally, offer tools to our children. Yes, it is true that with the previous two points we are already giving them solutions so that they can unblock that emotion that bothers them and makes them feel bad. But if we reinforce these two strategies with concrete resources, we will be educating them in their emotional skills for life. They will know how to resolve their conflicts in a much more successful way and will be adults in the future with great management skills. Resources such as inviting them to draw what their sadness is like at this moment and then talk about it or having them run four laps around the garden to release their anger are very good exercises to accompany our children's emotions.

Article prepared by NoeGarcía de Marina, Therapist Pedagogue. Counselor and trainer in respectful and conscious parenting. Director of NoeBotega.